The rope between us: defining rest in marriage

We are holding so much.

Careers we’re trying to build.

Bodies we’re trying to care for.

Friendships we want to nurture.

A child we are raising.

Business plans, promotion plans, grocery lists…

And somewhere in the midst of it all—

we’re still trying to hold on to each other.

The Hustle of Two Lives

My husband and I are both in motion.

He’s running a business.

I’m growing in corporate.

We’re raising our child.

Trying to stay fit.

Make space for friends.

Not lose ourselves… or each other.

Sometimes we hold hands.

Sometimes we hold tension.

But always—we’re holding the rope.

Letting Go of the Performance

This season has asked more from us than we imagined.

Not just in effort, but in honesty.

We’ve had to lay down the act of:

— Being “okay”

— Being the perfect partner

— Being the polished professional

Because truthfully?

You can share a home and still feel unseen.

“You can love someone and still miss them—even when they’re right beside you.”

What Rest Looks Like Now

Rest doesn’t always look like a weekend away or a candlelit dinner.

Sometimes it’s quieter:

— A pause

— A glance

— A hand that loosens its grip on the rope

— A quiet “How are you really?”

And the brave space to answer honestly.

Choosing Presence Over Perfection

We’re learning that connection doesn’t always mean closeness.

Sometimes it means holding the rope gently—

with care, with presence,

with just enough slack for us both to breathe.

This Is the Practice Now

To remove the performance.

To choose presence.

To see and be seen.

Because the rope between us isn’t just tension—

It’s commitment.

It’s care.

It’s the path back—

not to how things were,

but to something deeper.

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